No More Hair! (?)

Throughout human evolution there has been a certain trend to be considered and realized. No! I am not speaking of the increase in longevity, the apparent increase in height, or even the bipedal development. It is HAIR of which I speak. Sure, there seems to be some evolutionary reasoning behind having hair (i.e. warmth, protection from the elements, protection from abrasions, and the like). However, I have it on good authority (ahem, my wife) that perhaps the human race is heading toward hairlessness. I mean, it could have been the delirium that set in from cleaning the homestead (or the subconscious - or not so subconscious - wonderings of why I shaved my head) as to why my wife popped the theory, but it stands to reason that since the time of the caveperson (look, I'm so politically correct) up to now . . . humankind has lost hair! Does this mean that the future holds baldness for the human race? Not sure. Nevertheless, I for one intend to embrace this hairless trend (whether by intentional design or fated consequence) and happily go hairless into the night.

Plain English Please!!

Yes! I know you are very cool and technologically advanced (wid it! - as some may say). Perhaps you have transcended the english character continuum and can speak in a binary dialect ( I guess I am not addressing this audience right now- perhaps another time!). I am sure the time it takes to type that text message into that all important cell phone must be seriously diminished! Plus, think of all the character keys you must be saving by typing in a "no-vowel' barely phoenetic way . . . but people . . . PLEASE . . . STOP the MADDNESS! PLAIN ENGLISH PLEASE!

Sure, it may be a product of generational change. . . But, I ask of you - plead even - what happens when you really have to write in plain english? Are the words spelled correctly? Do you use proper punctuation (can you spell punctuation)? Can you effectively communicate your thoughts without using emoticons? My guess is that there is impaired development.

It is no large surprise that everything takes practice! (Practice makes perfect as they say!) Reading, writing, and speaking are not any different. What is more is that the more you practice the better you get AND the better you get the more you realize a depth of experience - a depth that can be obtained by learning any subject matter (in the rant du jour - it is the English language, or any language for that matter). So I dare you, go ahead and type out those vowels, spell out that word *CORRECTLY* (look it up if you have to), and even use some punctuation and Capital letters for a change.

I know you can do it! Undoubtedly, you will have a tremendous skill that will evolve over a lifetime and perhaps someday you may even obtain gainful employment.

Good Luck and God Bless!

[For those that may be having a difficult time reading the above it has been transcribed below in modified form]

Yep! know u r kwl and all dat (with it! - u knw). U tink u r a cmptr geek ( shout out 2 u peeps ltr) U tink u can txt fst wit no vwlls but chill! No txt lik dat!

Cn u rlly read n writ? Cn u pnktuate w/o smily faces? N-way!

Gotta praktice duwin it da rght way, man!

U can duwit! Maybe u cn get job too (someday)!

Peace out!